There is an island somewhere calling my name...

I seem to think this a lot:

"Really?"

My brain repeats this phrase at least ten times a day if not more. A lot of the time it has to do with customers at work, who are strange and truthfully disconnected from the world around them. Some of the time it has to do with my friends and family who I love, but sometimes do strange things. Other times it is purely random. The cause of the phrase most often this week is men. They are strange. I don't get them. I've never really claimed to be an expert, but I now know I'm not even close to being slightly knowledgeable. I wish I could find a guy who would give me an honest answer to some questions I have, but it may be impossible. Questions I have for a male if one chooses to answer:

What makes a guy think that singing. "We Built This City on Rock and Roll" to me at a condiment bar will make me want to go out with them?

What makes a guy think that after he tells a girl she is weak, or should f*** off, she will want to be friends with him again?

What makes a guy break up with a girl like me? (And if you know me, you know I'm pretty awesome).

What makes a guy think that buying his girlfriend a crock pot for her birthday is okay even if she says that's what she wants, but she also has said she likes jewelry?

What makes a guy think that dancing up behind me at a bar/club will be a turn on even after I have walked away from him over three times?

What makes a guy NOT say how he really feels?

What makes a guy think that telling his co-worker she looks "horrible" on the one day she doesn't bother to wear make-up because she was up all night is okay?

Technically men have bigger brains than females...but I don't see it.

I should end this by saying I have plenty of moments, I'm sure, where people look at me and think, "Really?" But I don't have to comment on those. It's my blog and I can say whatever I want to.

P.S. It's going to snow. But it hasn't snowed yet. You want to know the ironic part? It's snowing at my parents house in Texas right now:


That's my parents backyard with "Texas Dust" aka snow.

So you're bored...

I have been a little bad about updating this week. I've had to work more than normal and unlike you I don't have internet access at my job at unamed-coffee house.

I will buy a beer for anyone who can tell me what this is a drawing of:


*This offer is not valid if your name is Johanna or Ellen. Or Adam (Johanna's husband) for that matter. You live with Johanna and she will probably tell you what it is since she drew it.

Rub your stomach all filled with turkey...and smile.

Stop Rubbing Your Theater In My Face is a lovely three-woman improv group that consists of me, Tahnee the Tiny Dessert Authority and Alexandra. The three of us ladies had our first Thanksgiving together this year in Wilmette at Alexandra's childhood home. Here, in pictures, is our eventful and exciting day. Enjoy.

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Tahnee and I took the train north to Wilmette. We realized neither of us had been past the Lawrence red line stop. Tahnee was excited.


Tahnee and I had a discussion about where the el trains are stored. We were sure they must be stored on the south side. Cicero was our exact guess. When switching trains at Howard we realized that we should probably work on our tendency to stereotype...ladies and gentlemen, I present trains stored on the north side:


The train ride was long and we attempted a crossword. The only time we seemed to come up with answers was while riding through Evanston. What's that about?


We finally arrived at Alexandra's childhood home. Well, her home since she was five. And of course now she lives in Chicago...but you get the idea. We were given a tour and quickly discovered that Alexandra's face has not changed since she was a child. Awww...how cute.


Eventually there was food. But only after I discovered my new favorite book. Schott's Almanac. It's amazing. I love this picture. The turkey looks like it's from a catalogue. Alexandra's mother was like a real life Martha Stewart. There was so much food all perfectly prepared. There was even vegetarian gravy and stuffing for Tahnee and gluten-free for Alexandra. Amazing. This is Alexandra's father. He is a really nice man who kind of reminds of my dad, with more hair.


Tahnee licked her plate.


I went back for thirds...and couldn't finish. Alas, it was a good effort. I did end up with three pieces of pie though. Three different kinds of pie. Well, they were all pumpkin. So three different versions of pumpkin pie. That's what I ended up with.


Afterwards we played with our food...


Then we did bad improv...

We partook in a little Boggle tournament with Alexandra's sisters. They had recently taken the ACT and found words that I didn't know existed.


I just realized you can spell the word "sex" in the above picture which is a great segway to Alexandra bringing sexy back to the foosball table.


Alexandra's mom sent us home with leftovers. I gave mine to a homeless man on the train. He was really excited about the corn pudding. Yes, Alexandra's mom even had little take-out containers for our food.


It was a glorious day. Tahnee and I were happy, fulfilled, and tired on the train ride home. Good food, good friends, good fun. That's what I always strive for and it was attained.


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What a fun day. The day actually ended with Tahnee and I catching the tail end of an orphaned improvisor's get-together, but I don't have pictures of that. Boo. I will admit, it was my first holiday away from home. I missed my family. I actually begged to get off of work just so I wouldn't have to serve coffee all day, eat a frozen burrito and drown my sorrows in a sappy Christmas movie...alone...in my studio apartment.

I hope you had a happy holiday wherever you were. Just think...there are more holiday's around the corner... Including Christmas. My favorite. Thank you to Alexandra's mom and dad, her grandparents, her cousins, her aunt and uncle and her sisters for making Tahnee and I a part of your family for the day. The biggest thank you is from me to my fellow improvisors...T and Mayor McCheese (that's Alexandra). Thank you for being such good friends and for lifting my spirits. Ya'll rock. You really are the best. :). I just got sappy. Remember that, it doesn't happen often.

Have a good day. I love you.

Weekend mom love...

This is my mom and a former student of hers, Adam. Adam is really excited that while he is at his boring job, where all five bosses are located outside of the Chicago area, he can read my blog and see his picture on it. Famous Adam.

I apologize for the blurry picture. It was taken in the Signature Room in the Hancock Building/Tower (which is it?). That's not really an excuse for it being blurry. Nice Buffet, beautiful view. For some reason I felt like I was eating lunch at a wedding reception. To let you know, the best view is no longer in the women's restroom. They built a wall.

My momma was in town this weekend for a high school speech tournament in Northfield, IL. She's a speech and debate coach in case you didn't gather. I love that I got to see my mom. It was a nice break from my life for two days. She also bought me two news pairs of boots. Go team go.

That's it for me and mi familia until Christmas when my parents arrive in Chicago for their first "cold" Christmas.

I get to experience my first large family holiday gathering this Thursday. At home in Texas, I'm lucky if five people are there for our Thanksgiving festivities. I, along with Tahnee, will be spending turkey day with Alexandra at her family's house in the burbs. Alexandra's mother is sad that it will be a "small" Thanksgiving with only nineteen people in attendance. Bring on the bacon folks. I can't wait!

P.S. I went jogging today for the first time in a week and a half. I have lost some of my stamina I have to say. My side hurt not long after I began. I ended up walking and sporadically jogging thinking the pain would go away for almost two miles. I think I looked funny.

Adventures In Dating...

I recently discontinued dating someone...well, really they discontinued dating me. It's a shame really, I was just getting into the whole thing. And as much as this person will deny it, he was really into me one day and then over it the next. Crazy and pretty crappy towards me. When life hands you lemons you make lemonade right? If you're a writer, specifically a songwriter like me, people expect you to write a song about it. This has been said to me on more than one occasion,

"That sucks Molly. I'm sorry. Go write a song about it."

Really...people say that. And of course I usually end up writing a song about it....whatever "it" may be at the time, but I hate being told what to do. I'm sure, in fact I know, that I have many words for my current situation, but a songwriter I admire has actually put my current feelings into much better words than I think I can muster right now. I know what you're thinking....I don't want to read song lyrics Molly. My cubicle is much more exciting. No it's not. Read 'em and weep:

(make sure to pay special attention to the 2nd verse and pre-chorus...I'll put them in bold for those of you who have no idea what that means...)

Head under water and they tell me to breathe easy for awhile
But breathing gets harder even I know that

You made room for me but it’s too soon to see if I’m happy in your hands
I’m unusually hard to hold onto

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me its make or break in this if you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you stay
If all you have is leavin’ I’m (gonn)a need a better reason to write you a love song today.

I learned the hard way that they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I’m trying to let you hear me as I am

I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me its make or break in this if you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you stay
If all you have is leavin’ I’m (gonn)a need a better reason to write you a love song today.

Promise me you’ll leave the light on
To help me see. Daylight my guide gone…
Cause I believe there’s way you can love me because I say…

I won’t write you a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me its make or break in this
Is that why you wanted a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this if you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
I f your heart is nowhere in it I don’t want it for minute
Babe, I’d walk the seven seas when I believe that there’s a reason to write you a love song today…


Glad you made it through. The song is called "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles. I think her album comes out next year...you can hear it on her myspace page:
Love Song by Sara Bareilles

One last note: saying "I don't see a future" is a moot point. The future hasn't happened yet. Of course you can't see it. You could die in the next five minutes. Nobody knows. As we say in improv, "we don't know where we're going, we only know where we've been." Excuses...always has been one and always will be.

P.S. It feels really good to know I have made wonderful friends after only two months in Chicago. After this incident in dating, they all separately offered to either kick his ass or bust his knee caps. I wish no ill will on this man, in fact I would like to keep around as a friend for awhile. Not to say after a few beers I didn't seriously consider one or more of these offers. I'm just too "nice" for violence.

Candid moments...

I went for several weeks thinking I didn't have a can opener, so I bought one. Last night, as I was washing my dishes, I discovered I now have two can openers.

PS I was wrong in my blog several blogs ago. I have only lived here slightly over TWO months. Un.Be.Liev.A.Ble.

In other news...

I had a funny thing happen today, and in light of other events it was needed.

I was walking down Belmont having a nice time listening to Death Cab For Cutie on my iPod, when i noticed I young gentlemen, dressed in big baggy clothing and a dirty skully, walking in front of me. He kept turning around and looking back. I didn't assume at the time his was looking at me. I should also say he was carrying a sack of food and drink from McDonalds and there is no McD's anywhere near this area. Where did it come from?

I thought I saw him walk into Cupresso (ghetto, crazy, sad looking coffee shop) but when I passed by he was standing in the doorway. He asked my if I would like to get coffee. I did not accept his proposal. And in some way, I should say it wasn't even sweet. He yelled,

"Coffee? Buy you some coffee?" several times.

Just another day in the gayborhood.

PS I saw this written on my friend's MySpace awhile ago and wanted to share. It somehow seems appropriate..."If I knew where I was going I'd already be there."

Slightly askew...

I've been a wee bit negative lately and I'm not sure why. I am very happy. My life is pretty good right now. Really I shouldn't say that because now that I've typed it something horrible will happen. Wait, that was negative.

I have lived in Chicago for a little over three months now. It's funny to think back on why I am in Chicago to begin with. I had only been here once before I moved here and that was to look for an apartment. I lived in LA and thought for sure the good Lord would force me back there, all the while praying that I would move to New York. Want to hear the irony? Here in Chicago I live on the corner of Melrose and Broadway.

::Insert Twilight Zone theme here::

PS The birthday bean has a music note on the other side. Strange. I didn't notice it before. My mom is STILL wondering why I haven't written a new song...she must have planted the note there to motivate me. Damn her, it worked.

Holiday's are coming...

Today I had a "staff" meeting at work. I know that some of you may think that a part-time job at a well-known coffee establishment would not require "staff" meetings, but it does. We had to discuss the upcoming holiday's along with updates on how to stay safe in a retail environment when the high-crime-time of year makes it's way into our lives. I apologize for the long sentence...

During the meeting we played an actual board game made by the mother company. I can't say the company's name because I will be found and shot. It was a team-building board game to help us all learn how to connect better with our customers. Really, the only thing I learned today was that all barista's are bitter and Jewish barista's REALLY hate Christmas.

P.S. The birthday bean has bloomed. This magical bean was a gift from my friend Aimee in California. I thought I had killed it, but no...it's death will be a little later in the little bean's life that I had orignally thought. Congratulations to me and happy birthday (20 days after the fact).

On this day...

i made a real blog page. not a myspace blog. somewhere children are crying and my mother is shaking her head wondering why i haven't written a new song...